Having the Tough Conversations

The wonderful team at Good Grief recently asked me write a small reflection on my current journey with pastoral care.
Feel free to read the reflection below + check out the reflection on the following websites:
Good Grief: https://www.goodgrief.org.au/blog/having-tough-conversations
SOSJ: http://www.sosj.org.au/who-we-are/view_article.cfm?id=3247&loadref=390

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“Hi, my name is Jane, and I’m from the Pastoral Care department…”
How would you react to this statement?
Perhaps hesitation, confusion or curiosity?

I am currently a pastoral care student at St Vincent’s Hospital. This reflection is focused on encountering the unknown; embracing another exactly where they are, letting go of fear while walking together…
As Forest Gump said: “Life’s like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get!”  As I enter into a patient’s area I can never be sure of how they will be what kind of chocolate will I taste?

It’s natural to have hesitations; will they be angry, will they want me there? After acknowledging our fears we must let go of them. Walking into the area of another must be taken step by step without fear, judgement or hesitation. A kind of self-emptying must take place, a true letting go of what might be, and an embrace of what is. We must embrace whatever chocolate we receive; savouring an enveloping love that can only come through relinquishment of fear.

As an example: A couple of weeks ago I encountered a patient who was very angry and frustrated. He re-acted harshly to my greeting; initially you could say that he was a kind of chocolate that you might be quite happy to give back! It would have been easy for me to walk away, but even though it was an awkward encounter I remained with him. I could sense his frustration at his situation. I trusted the process, kept calm and remained with him; not leading or guiding, letting him carry the direction. As he spoke I simply listened and when it was time, I asked him appropriate questions. Eventually he calmed, and by the time I left he told me I was glowing and thanked me profusely – bitter to sweet indeed.

By letting go of fear and embracing whatever chocolate we are gifted, we allow ourselves to be transformed by love. We must trust the process of companioning and pastoral care; embracing whatever taste comes our way with agape.

~ Jane Maisey

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“There is nothing better or more necessary than love." 
~ St. John of the Cross
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“The worst fear of all fears is the fear of living.”
~ Theodore Roosevelt

"Fear makes us ultimately vulnerable to domination while interior freedom makes us strong enough to face whatever needs to be faced without either temerity or cowardice."
~ Sandra Schneiders